The Universe Wants Me to Do Porn

When I was born my middle name was Sailer, and then my Grandma freaked out and asked my parents to change it, so they changed it to Sophia. The result of this was that my birth certificate and my social security card didn’t match for a long time, and eventually I had to choose. It was easier to change the social than the birth certificate, so I went with Sailer. I still consider Sophia a part of my identity though so I use it a lot for various things.

Emma Sophia has a nice ring to it. It also definitely sounds like the name of a high-end Millenial escort business. Long story short GoDaddy wants me to get into the sex work business, as evidenced below. There is NOTHING wrong with sex work but considering how much I hate almost everyone, how I am 5’2 and usually 15-20 lbs overweight, and how I cut my own hair poorly, I’m not sure this is my calling.  Thanks but no thanks, Daddy-O.

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